Carved
by enigma-kar
Summary: Extended scene in 'Point Of No Return'. How exactly was the sigil was carved into Castiel? And how hard had it been?


**Disclaimer: **Supernatural isn't mine.

_So, I'm sure this scene has been done to death, but after watching _Point of No Return _I couldn't NOT write something. So, here's my version, crappy though it is. :) Also it is Destiel... if you squint a little. :P Reviews are love. _

* * *

**Carved**

"What the hell are you going to do with that?"

Castiel fixed Sam with a grave, yet somewhat guilty look before turning away and back to the utility knife in his hand.

"Cas..." Dean began and the angel's head shot up to meet his gaze. A look of realisation dawned upon the hunter's face and shook his head slightly. "There has to be-"

"There isn't," Castiel replied, firmly.

Dean bit back a retort and instead let out a sigh. "Sammy," he turned to his brother. "Could you give us a minute?"

Understanding, yet not quite fully, Sam nodded. "I'll check this place out." With a grim smile he clasped a hand on Castiel's shoulder, before walking back around the corner of the building.

Dean watched as Sam left. He waited until the tall figure had disappeared before turning to Castiel. "You'll be banished along with them!" He said loudly, unsure why and how the anger had come so quickly.

"Yes," Castiel said simply and he began unbuttoning his shirt.

For a second, Dean was distracted by the motion and he blinked back confusion. "Cas... I don't think... What are you doing?"

"I won't have time to draw the sigil inside. The other angels could very easily kill me before I even had a chance." Castiel paused in his unbuttoning to shrug off his outer jacket and coat.

"Don't say that," Dean quickly replied.

"Carving the marks into my vessel now will give me the time I need," Castiel continued as though Dean hadn't spoken.

"What?"

Castiel discarded his shirt and looked up to meet Dean's horrified face. "You heard me correctly. And I will reiterate, since you look like arguing further - there isn't another way."

Dean shook his head; clearly of the impression the angel had gone mad. "Cas, you've got to-"

"No," Castiel cut him off, a dark tone creeping into his deep voice. Dean was instantly and vividly reminded of their earlier encounter in the alleyway and snapped his mouth shut for once. But Castiel fell into silence and the two locked eyes.

Countless unheard conversations passed between them. And each conveyed, precisely, their emotions or lack thereof.

Castiel's anger and rage.

Dean's compliance and regret.

Castiel's loss of faith in the man in front of him.

Dean's guilt and worry.

Castiel's pity.

Dean's hidden compassion.

Castiel's own worry.

Dean caring concern.

Castiel's love.

Dean's love.

And it was the last that overcame the first.

Castiel flicked the blade in his hand and Dean's eyes dropped to it. "I..." the angel began and he bowed his head slightly. "I'll need your help, Dean. I've never had to..."

He trailed off and Dean took pity on him. Suddenly Castiel looked more human than ever. His angelic powers had slowly been leaving him, but Dean saw it clearly now. And for a moment Dean saw him as just another helpless man, trying to do his part. For a moment they were equals.

"I can't, Cas," Dean finally said, pained. "I couldn't... do that to you."

"It won't hurt me," Castiel replied and for a moment Dean almost believed that.

"You're not fooling anyone, man."

Castiel gave a weak smile, which faded almost instantly. "Dean," he pleaded and reaching out he placed his hand over the existing print on Dean's shoulder. The hunter shuddered slightly. "Please." And Castiel held out the blade.

Taking a shuddering, deep breath, Dean reached out to take the knife. Their eyes met again. "I'm sorry."

But the angel shook his head. "Just do it quickly."

"No, I mean, I'm sorry... for everything," Dean clarified. "And it's not just the doomed-feeling speaking. I mean it. I'm sorry, Cas."

An unreadable emotion crossed the angel's face and his grip on Dean's shoulder tightened slightly. "I know, Dean."

Dean nodded and for a brief moment he reached up to cover Castiel's hand with his own.

~ *XX* ~

Castiel gasped out in pain as Dean made the first cut into his chest. He hadn't been completely prepared.

Looking heartbreakingly concerned, Dean paused and murmured an apology.

"Don't stop," Castiel choked out. It was only one cut and, yet he felt as though his chest was about to rip apart. Inwardly screaming, he cursed how human he had become and how much this affected him when clearly it shouldn't have. Physical pain had never hurt this badly before. And he hated it.

Muttering another apology, Dean could do nothing but continue, hating himself for having to do this. Hating that it had come to this. But he didn't waver and forced himself to continue. He even became oblivious of Castiel's hand which, when Dean had kneeled before him, had curled into the hunter's hair gripping it tightly against the anguish.

And Castiel's original gasp of pain seemed an age away as he fell silent.

Then, after five minutes of agony on both their parts, Dean stopped. It was done. Then, before standing, he ripped his jacket off and gently wiped at the dribbles of blood which had welled and seeped downwards. Castiel let out a whimper.

"Dean..."

"It's done," Dean said, rising and gently pulling on the angel's hand which was still fisted in his hair.

"Sorry," he muttered, both pained and embarrassed.

"Here," Dean said thickly and handed Castiel his shirt.

Struggling, they both helped in the redressing; Dean, gritting his teeth and ignoring Castiel's winces of pain.

"Will that scar?" Dean asked. "The sigil? What I... carved?" He seemed to be coming to terms with what he'd done.

"I don't know," Castiel said, truthfully. "Maybe... maybe not."

"I'm sorry," Dean said again.

"Don't be, Dean."

"But, I've just carved-"

"No," Castiel shook his head and fixed him with a look.

Dean was about to retort or question, but Sam rounded the corner again. "Hey," he said quietly, unsuccessfully trying to keep the curiosity and worry off his face.

"I should go now," Castiel said.

"I'll see you later, yeah?" Dean asked.

A saddened look flashed across the angel's face. "I don't know, Dean."

"Then it's goodbye?" Dean looked horrified at the thought.

Castiel glanced at Sam before looking back at Dean. "I'm afraid so."

Sam cleared this throat slightly. "Well, you guys know me. I'm not one for big goodbyes." He gave a brief smile and embraced Castiel in an awkward one-armed hug. "I'll just... give you guys a minute then, yeah?" And without waiting for a reply he gave a grim smile and left them again.

"He's the worst liar in the world," Dean muttered with a sigh, not voicing how thankful he was that Sam had the courtesy to give them another moment alone.

"I concur," Castiel said. "But, I have to go, Dean. We may not have much time. They are probably already aware of our presence here."

"Will I see you again, Cas? Ever?" Castiel looked away and didn't answer. "Cas!"

"I don't know, Dean. I told you. This is a first, even for angels."

Dean sighed, resignedly and ran a hand across his weary face. Then, looking up, he reached forward to clasp Castiel's cheek. "If you die or are banished forever... or whatever, I will never forgive you."

The angel, wincing through his pain, stretched to bring their foreheads together. "You're a good human being, Dean."

The hunter refrained from rolling his eyes, despite the seriousness of the situation. "You're still saying that? After everything I've done?"

"Yes," Castiel replied and he pulled away to look Dean in the eyes.

"Even after I just carved a-"

"You've always been carving into me, Dean," Castiel murmured and Dean frowned. "Everything you've taught me and everything you are. It's your name that's carved in me. Here." And he placed both their hands over his heart.

"Cas..."

"I'm so human, it hurts, Dean. But ever since the beginning, you've been carved there. And I'm still imprinted on you too."

Dean was silent as Castiel caressed the handprint on his shoulder one final time. He'd barely opened his mouth to reply, but then he blinked. And Castiel was suddenly gone.

A tear dropped and Dean wiped it before Sam reappeared.

Time to go.

~ *XX* ~

It wouldn't be until weeks later when Castiel finally reappears.

When Dean hears that deep voice on the other end of his phone, his shoulder tingles and he's never felt so relieved in his life.

And as he lies in the hospital bed, Castiel's human heart aches in a confused longing he never knew he had.


End file.
